A Woman on the Internet Reviews Stranger Things Season 1 Episode 2: The Weirdo on Maple Street

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<- EPISODE 1: THE VANISHING OF WILL BYERS

EPISODE 3: HOLLY JOLLY ->

FULL SPOILER REVIEW AHEAD

 

Directly following episode 1, Stranger Things episode 2, The Weirdo on Maple Street start as the boys are back as Michael’s house, in the basement, all drenched, asking a bunch of questions to “11”. The kids are being surprisingly adult, asking her if she has parents they can call, until Dustin makes a remark on her shaven head and asks if she has cancer, reminding me that these are kids. I giggled a bit. Michael gives her some clean clothes and the boys are freak out when she attempts to undress herself right here and there. There is a really gentle moment between “11” and Michael, he attempts to close the bathroom door to give her some privacy, she doesn’t like that and is scared, so he lets the door only slightly open in order for her to feel safe, it’s sweet, it’s gentle. I like Michael. Meanwhile Lucas throws a bunch of ableist shit that I try not to be bothered by because, well, they are kids. Michael makes a fortress for “11” to sleep in, and then gives her the nickname El. As he leaves the basement, El cries by herself and I sat there wondering about her past and her pain.

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The next morning in Joyce’s house, Joyce isn’t doing very well. Hopper stops by her house to check with her about the weird phone call from last night. Hopper is skeptical, Joyce doesn’t appreciate her word being doubted, insists that she knows her son’s breathing as he would know his daughter’s. I understand both sides, Joyce’s powerlessness and Hopper’s pain at being thrown a statement as such.

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But Hopper moves on, which I admit took me by surprise. He continues to ask her a few questions, they all find it odd that the phone was burned off when the call ended, and Hopper decides that he was waited long enough and that he will visit Will’s father, which frustrates Joyce.  Jonathan follows Hopper out of the house and insists that he should be the one to go to his father’s.

In Michaels’ house, at the dinner table Michael throws a few jabs at his sister’s about her secret late night visit last night and whether she thinks she has studied enough for her human anatomy test, which gets him a kick under the table, but their parents are completely oblivious so who cares.  After the breakfast Michael brings food to El and tries to get some information out of her, such as who is after her, if she is in trouble etc. El remains her mysterious self and gives strange but intense responses.

Back with the search, the two police officers whose names I haven’t been able to remember are discussing Joyce and making inappropriate and insensitive remarks, such as how Joyce is at the edge and basically how “crazy” she is. Hopper does the right thing and reminds them that Joyce’s kid is missing, and to have some goddamn class.

In School, Nancy and her friends are gossiping as teenage girls do (I guess) until they are approached by the “cool kids” who have decided to throw a party and think it’s hilarious how uncool Nancy is because she thinks Tuesday is an odd day to throw a ragger on. They notice Will’s brother putting up posters and making fun of him, I mean, family members who worry about a lost kid is SO uncool and weird, you guys, am I right? Nancy shows empathy, says it “sucks” which is quite the understatement but at least she’s trying to be sweet. My empathy was focused and remained with Jonathan though.

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I know your brother is missing so I’ll make the understatement of the year & say it “sucks”

Lucas and Dustin are in class but they can’t stop wondering how Michael’s mother reacted to finding out about EL, and whether or not El slept naked. Meanwhile, it turns out that Michael skipped school to keep El company (so sweet, I melted) and is showing her around his house. El came across a picture of Nancy and said Nancy was pretty with the sweetest smile on her face (girl love is the best), and then had the chance to try Michael’s dad’s chair which scared her and then amused her. I melted even further as El smiled for one of those rare times.

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Back with Jonathan who is driving to go meet his dad, he is listening to the Clash and is having a flashback to when he had Will listen to this song. Their mother was having an argument on the phone and we get a beautiful scene of the brothers bonding and Jonathan telling Will that although it’s ok to want a relationship with their dad, he doesn’t have to go to things he doesn’t want to go to. It is ok to like different things. It was touching and made me like the character of Jonathan even more.

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Joyce goes to town to the store where we learn she has been working at for ten years now, in order to buy a new phone since her previous one had been burned off by god-knows-what, her boss is a bit of a dick and actually doesn’t seem very down with giving a woman whose kid is currently missing a two-week advance so she can get a new phone in case someone calls, but I really enjoyed Joyce showing a bit more toughness and personality and not backing down. As Joyce deals with her crappy boss, the men in black are going through her house and her backyard being modern ghostbusters. They seem to find gooey stuff.

Once again we return to Michael’s house where is he attempted to show his toys to El but quite frankly she doesn’t give a fuck. There she comes across a picture of Will and it is made clear that she knows who he is. Right when this is revealed, Michael’s mom returns home and Michael attempts to hide El in his closet, which triggers some trauma for her. She reminisces of a time, in what I can only assume to be the institute, where she was brought and put into some sort of empty closet as she screams for “papa” to some man. As this goes on, Michael’s mom is listening to Michael’s explanation as of why he isn’t in school, and although he attempts to lie (badly) she disregards it and lets it go, letting him know that she can only imagine what he is feeling due to Will’s disappearance, and that she is there for him. He then returns to the closet to find a crying El, and when he asks her if she is ok, she replies that she is, and repeats “promise”. We get a short scene of Joyce returning home with her new phone and waiting by herself, it hurt.

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Don’t cry babygirl, nooo

At the dinner, Benny the nice guy is finally found. Hopper reveals that Benny was his friend and I’m able to sympathise with Hopper even further.

Jonathan finally arrives to his dad’s, Lonnie, house and a young woman opens up the door. She isn’t very friendly but Jonathan doesn’t give a shit and goes in to start looking for Will but is interrupted violently as he is pushed against a wall by his father (lovely parent you got there).

Lucas and Dustin arrive at Michael to find out that his mom still doesn’t know about El. Lucas continues on his journey to rub me the wrong way with his insensitive and ableist words, and decides that he’s going to be a snitch. El then reveals her mad telekinesis powers to them by making sure that the door remains closed. Simply stating “no”. This was one of my favorite scene of the episode.

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We learn a bit more about Jonathan’s dad, but nothing that we couldn’t have guessed before. He’s one of those sperm donors who most likely abandoned the mother of his kids, never helps raise or tend to the children whose existence he played a part in, was never present but still thinks he is the better parent. He attempts to manipulate Jonathan by talking shit about Joyce but Jonathan doesn’t take any of it and gives Lonnie one of the missing posters for Will in case Lonnie forgot what his own son looks like.

Hopper questions one of the last person to have seen Benny alive, and he learns that Benny may have not committed suicide as he hadn’t acted much different in the past days. The incident with the kid in the kitchen stealing food is revealed to him and Hopper starts to believe that this child perhaps could have been Will. As the audience, we know this to be false, but it is a very reasonable assumption, especially with the disappearance of a child and the appearance of another, and the shaved head thing (and the fact that EL can be perceived as a boy by people because…hair. Oh well.)

Nancy lies about wanting to go to the gathering for Will at her school, which, when you think about it, is quite the shitty lie considering that she should sort of want to go there out of respect but, hey, teenage girl’s hormone or something.

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I know it’s 1983 but holy shit I just want to have sex

The search in the woods continues which seems to lead the police towards the institute. I am very intrigued.

Back with the boys, a pretty damn adorable scene takes place when the boys promise not to tel anyone about El because superpowers are really cool and if they had known they would have treated her differently. El doesn’t understand the word or concept of friends so Lucas tries to explain until Michael interrupts because they can’t possibly give decent line or two to the only black kid on the show thus far. Fine, be that way. The concept of friend and friendship is explained through the concept of promises, and being there for someone. It’s cute.

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“This is bullshit, this should have been my line”

Barbara and Nancy are arriving to the cool kids only party and Barbara judges Nancy for being a teenage girl and liking boys, oh, and for having a bra that she hadn’t seen before (what?). “Cool kid” supposedly hot Steve opens the door and makes a fool out of himself as a way to seem extra cool. I gagged.

Hopper wakes up in the middle of the night, he seems agitated, anxious, depressed, and goes to smoke a cigarette. His lady friend gets up, joins him outside without any pants on and complains about the cold. Hopper talks about the fact that incidents like a missing child and a suicide haven’t happened in a very long time, but she doesn’t give a fuck about what’s on his mind because she is cold and blah blah why are you here?

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I know you’re on a missing child case & you lost a kid, but wtv, I’m cold ok

Once again back with the boys, they are questioning her about Will and whether or not she knows where he is. El, once again, gives them a whole lot of silence and single words here and there, but it is made clear that although bad men are after her, something else is after Will. She places a wizard on the table, and a creature next to him. The boys are freaked.

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At Steve’s house we watch as the “ragger” is basically a gathering of Steve, Nancy, a couple and Barbara who looked like she knew that she was the third wheel there. Steve tries to how off to Nancy by chugging a beer. Oh my, such manliness, where have my panties gone. He then challenges Nancy to do the same and she does, because teenage girls like to have some fun too, but Barbara watches with complete disdain. Nancy then aggressively pressure Barbara to the same even though Barbara repeatedly says no and demonstrate a lot of discomfort and annoyance, alas, she caves in and instead of making a hole in a beer can, cuts her thumb pretty badly. But nobody seems to care about her. As Barbara goes in the kitchen to fix her fucked up thumb, the kids start to get into the pool and have fun, nice friend you are, Nancy.

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NEVER pressure a friend to drink or smoke, that shit ain’t cool

There we get one of the final scene of the episode. Joyce gets a call but it isn’t one she was hoping for. Instead, she heard Wills breathing again, and then he speaks to her, but the creature gets on the phone again and takes over. The phone burns off again, and as Joyce cries and yells, the lights start to flicker. The music in Jonathan’s room starts to play, but Jonathan isn’t home. As she enters, Joyce seems to feel Will’s presence, the music plays, the light flickers and brighten, and then a creature is apparent within/under the wall, a la Freddy Krueger. Joyce runs out and gets in her car but her keys aren’t there,  the music starts to play again, she then demonstrate a huge amount of courage and re-enters her home.

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Finally, at the ragger that really isn’t a ragger, both Barbara and Nancy are being terrible friends to each other. Nancy follows Steve upstairs to “chill” but Barbara stops her because slut shaming your friend for wanting to make-out/have sex/or simply being alone with someone they have a crush on is a great sigh of friendship. Nancy on the other hand, tells Barbara that basically she isn’t really needed here anyone and can just go home, which is an incredibly shitty thing to do, to leave your friend behind like this.

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Tip of the day: Don’t slut-shame & don’t leave friends behind to get laid

Nancy goes upstairs and after a little bit of will they-wont they, she undresses and they begin to make out. Meanwhile, Jonathan who was taking pictures of where Will disappeared (because taking pictures at night is a very logical and great idea) is now taking pictures of the party, and then Nancy. Barbara, who decided to stay behind and wait for Nancy to be done with we all know what, is chilling by the pool. Her fucked up thumb is bleeding onto the water and something catches her and drags her in. I thought that Jonathan would see this, but he left after taking a picture of Nancy in a bra, alright.

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“Shittiest party ever”

The episode ends with me feeling kind of bad for Barbara who was only present at this party because she was asked to give a ride to a friend and was then ditched. I’ll miss you Barbara, you and your high-waisted denim jeans, and your big glasses.

8/10 – This episode was great but some of the scenes seemed to be a bit all over the place or out of order, I wish we would have finished this episode with Joyce, but alas, this was till a great episode.

<- EPISODE 1: THE VANISHING OF WILL BYERS

EPISODE 3: HOLLY JOLLY ->

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A Woman on the Internet Reviews Stranger Things Season 1 Episode 1: The Vanishing of Will Byers

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EPISODE 2: THE WEIRDO ON MAPLE STREET ->

FULL SPOILER REVIEW AHEAD

Here I go with my second series of episodic reviews. My reviews of Game of Thrones received quiet a bit of a positive reaction and positive feedback, and although Veronica Mars and Jessica Jones are on my to-do list, Stranger Things came out of nowhere and for a week now, nearly everybody around me has been singing praise after praise for yet another of Netflix’s originals.

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The first episode of Stranger Things, The Vanishing of Will Byers, starts in Hawkins, Indiana, in 1983, in Hawkins’s National Laboratory. There, some scientist is running from something like I have rarely seen someone run, whoever this actor is either must have prepared for this one scene months in advance, or there really was some asshole running after him. He sadly doesn’t make it and is grabbed and presumably killed in the elevator.

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We then meet the four young boys who will be much of the focus of the episode and, to be very frank, who are the ones who steal the show. I personally have always adored seeing great child actors in scary movies, who are given the chance to play kids as kids should be. We’ve got Michael, Dustin, Lucas and Will, they are playing what I quickly assumed to be Dungeon and Dragons or some games of the sort, and Michael isn’t here to fuck around, he doesn’t think this is a fucking game. It’s getting late and Michael’s mother breaks their 10 hours long run to remind them that they need to leave her house asap, and so they do.

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Nancy doesn’t want your pizza, Dustin

Michael’s sister, Nancy, doesn’t appreciate Dustin’s creepiness so he calls her a douchebag. Will, being a good kid, decides to let Michael know that Lucas and Dustin were planning on cheating and leaves to bike home. Each of the boys get home, while Will remains out there, passing through some restricted area. There, the light on his bike stops working, creepy noise spooks him and he crashes through some trees. The scene that follow did give me the spookies for a while, largely because there is something quite nerve-racking about seeing a scared child run through the woods and into his house, realize he is alone, and then spots something at the edge of the woods, something that is coming towards his house, something that is coming for him. He attempts to call someone, his mom perhaps, or maybe the police, but instead the creature seems to be the one to respond, and growls at will while standing behind the locked door. Will runs to hide in the shed to harm himself with that looked like a shotgun, but it is of no help as the monster is already there and leaves Will so profoundly afraid that he remains motionless and silent, and is taken away.

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We jump to some shirtless guy who seems to be waking up front a rough night, he drinks a beer or two and it is revealing that, ta da, this is the sheriff. Nice.

Back in Will’s house, his mom played by OMG WINONA TYDER HI IT’S BEEN SO LONG and his brother, who are both wondering where the hell Will is. Surprisingly, instead of waiting around, Will’s mother, Joyce, follows her gut, and her gut is telling that something is wrong. We see the boys at school, kids are racist and ableist assholes, and teenage girls like sex GASP. Hopper, our possibly alcoholic sheriff, finally arrives at work and is a dick to his secretary who seems to be the only one trying to do her job.

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Is my missing child inconveniencing you, sheriff??

Apparently, a missing kid isn’t a big deal to Hopper, so he is quite taken aback when a worried mother is already in his office wondering why the fuck she had to wait an hour to talk to an officer. Hopper blows her off, acts like kids don’t disappear, get kidnapped or murdered, shows no concern for her feelings and instead asks her to contact her ex-husband to see if Will perhaps has run away there. She complains but promises to do so, she just wants her child home.

 

At the laboratory, a bunch of dudes arrive to inspect the section and room where the incident took place the night before, remember that scientist, the one who should have been in the Olympics? There they find some Resident Evil type monster and seem to be completely unfazed, simply wondering “Where is the girl?” Which suddenly sparks a lot of curiosity and interest for me. Who is that girl? Yeah, where is that girl? The girl in question is a young child, shaved head, androgynous look, that seems to have been running through he woods all night and has now found a dinner. Upon observing what seems to be the owner, she gets in and finds some fries to munch on before she is caught. I’m both uncomfortable and intrigued.

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Back in school again with Michael, Lucas and Dustin, the boys are playing with some sort of radio until they are interrupted by Hopper and some other cops to be questioned about Will’s possible whereabouts. The guys talk about a street with a name from Lord of the Rings, Dustin corrects Lucas that it is from the Hobbit, everyone complains, I like Dustin. The boys are asked not to go looking for Will as it could be dangerous, but everyone knows kids don’t give a fuck.

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Adults are incompetent

Meanwhile, Joyce is reminiscing about a time when she came to see Will in his secret lair. (any kid that has a secret lair and whose password is “Radagast” is one incredibly fucking cool kid). Sadly, she returns to reality and Will isn’t in his lair, I feel for her.

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In the dinner, the owner, Benny, has made a burger for our mysterious little girl, and she is hungry, which he notices. He attempts to ask her a few questions, and although I was a little nervous at his attempt to blackmail information from her through refusing to feed her, he did seem to soften a little when he noticed an “11” tattooed on her arm, and when she pointed at herself, making it clear that she is “11”. He calls the police, or possibly child services, and explains his worries that she has been abused and that someone should come to care for her. “11” reveals some telekinesis powers and stops a fan that was making the kind of annoying noise that keeps me awake at night.

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Adults are annoying

At the edge of the road where Will first fell, Hopper & some other cops find his bike, and they begin to take his disappearance a little more seriously. They go to Joyce’s house to update her on their discovery, and Hopper begins to notice some strange things around the house, holes, the dog’s anxiety as he barks at the shed, and the ammunition scattered on the shed’s desk. There, he experiences an uneasy feeling, hears things, and he decides to start a search into the woods.

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In Michael’s house, his parents continue to be quite shitty, showing a lot of apathy towards his friend’s disappearance, particularly his father who, to be honest, doesn’t seem to give a fuck about anything at all. Michael wants to look for his friend, Nancy wants to get dirty with her boyfriend, their mother just wants everyone to stay home because the night is full of terrors.

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Why did I marry you again??

As the search starts in the woods, the boy’s science teacher meets Hopper and attempts to spark a casual conversation about how much Will is a good student and a good boy. Hopper says he never liked science. Mr. Clark tells him that he most likely had a shitty teacher, he turns out to be right. By the end of the conversation, and as someone gently approaches Mr. Clark, we learn that Hopper had a child, and that she has died many years ago. I’m intrigued. The boys, as we all expected, decide to go look for Will in the woods because he was a great teammate in D&D (or whatever it was) and I smiled because friendship is nice.

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At the dinner, Benny the owner continues to be an absolutely amazing guy, letting “11” go at it on a box of ice cream, making conversation, and generally being sweet in caring. There is a knock on the door of the dinner, “11” is startled, but Benny reassures her that he’ll tell whoever to fuck off and be right back. It turns out that it is social services, which I didn’t believe for a second not only because this is TV writing, but because social services would take days, weeks, not a few hours to show up on location, but hey, whatever. As Benny leads the woman to the kitchen, she shoots him in cold blood, and two men block “11”’s passage as she attempts to run away through the backdoor. But “11” isn’t your regular kid and knocks them out cold.

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RIP Benny the nice guy

The boys arrive to the woods, Dustin gets a bad feeling, they call him some misogynistic insult as they have been doing all episode, so he decides to stay with them.

In Michael and Nancy’s house, Nancy’s boyfriend gets in her room through the window because he really cares about her grades, and then tries to pressure her into sex. Her discomfort is clear, and is present for a lot for various reasons, and he eventually backs off and continues to study. Which she doesn’t really seem to need, but hey, teenage years.

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I said no, dude, back off

Back with Joyce and her son, they boy are looking for a picture of Will to, I assume, use for missing posters. They aren’t doing too good, and it is a very touching scene. She tries to hold onto the feeling in her gut that her son isn’t far away, while experiencing guilt and regret that maybe she hasn’t been present enough in the lives of both of her sons. I empathize on a deep level, being a single mother without any help is a very hard thing, and I appreciated this look into her life, her struggles, her emotions. When the phone rings, Joyce rushes to it, and the scene that follows truly did scare me. There is a breathing on the other side of a line, an odd type of breathing, and Joyce calls out Will’s name, convinced that it is her son. There, a growl begins, deep, which then turns into a screech, Joyce’s helpless cries break my heart as the screech grows louder and more aggressive until the phone electrocutes her. It is a hard scene to watch, and a good reminder that something supernatural is going on, and not a simple kidnapping.

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This scene gave me heart palpitations

The episode ends with Michael, Lucas and Dustin watching through the woods as rain pours onto them. They hear noises, are worried, turn and turn, until they are face to face with a drenched “11”. The episode ends.

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Usually pilot episodes are some of the most important episodes for TV shows. This is how you get people hooked, this is when you spark an interest, a curiosity, this is where things start. This first episode of Stranger Things did exactly this for me, I am curious, I am intrigued, I want to know what it is that happened to Will, what happened and what is that thing in Hawkins National Laboratory, and who is “11”, what was done to her, what is she running from, and who are this people.

10/10 – For all of these curiosities, and for actually making me stop taking notes because I wanted to give my complete attention, this episode gets a perfect note from me.

EPISODE 2: THE WEIRDO ON MAPLE STREET ->

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A Woman on the Internet Reviews The Lion’s Song Episode 1: Silence

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When I first came across the Lion’s Song it was purely at random, but when my gaze fell upon some of the screenshots from the game, I quickly added it onto my wishlist and waited patiently for its release, until today.

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The Lion’s Song, produced by the Austrian studio Mi’pu’mi Games and whose moto is “Great games don’t have to be big” (and I couldn’t agree more), is an episodic, point & click series that takes place during the early 20th century. In the first episode of The Lion’s Song we follow Wilma, an up and coming violinist who is under a lot of pressure to finish a piece that she has been struggling to complete. When her professor, Arthur Caban offers to send her to his cabin up in the Alps where she could potentially find inspiration, Wilma accepts and arrives to find herself surrounded by her fears, insecurities and pressure from both her peers and herself.

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The Lion’s Song first episode, titled Silence, is a wonderful piece of art about the pressure we allow others to put on us, the pressure we put on ourselves, our fears and how they can be interpreted of visualised, whether through dreams or the world that surrounds us, but it also is about patience and overcoming obstacles, big or small. In the first episode, you will be required to pay attention to Wilma’s pleas and fears, and help her find inspirations in the things that surrounds her and the sounds that will sometimes scare her, or inspire her, in order to complete her piece.

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The game allows you to learn various type of things about Wilma or the people in her life, different games will offer different types of information, and through some events, you can shape Wilma’s will, fears, and even the ending of the episode.

Although the music is an important part of the game, a lot of it resides in the in-between, when you are searching inside of the cabin for something to spark Wilma’s attention and inspiration. Rain tapping against the window or a clock ticking, there is a surprising amount of objects for you to interact with, and the sounds, text and sometimes music that accompanies it are absolutely wonderful.

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I am extremely excited to see what Mi’pu’mi Games has in store for us, and to meet the other character that will be the protagonists of the next episodes.

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10/10 – I was pleasantly surprised to see that episode 1 was being given out for free, as I was more than ready to pay for it, but having experienced it now, I will most certainly be purchasing the season pass and wait for more wonderful storytelling.

“Great games don’t have to be big” Absolutely. Some extra info on the series.

Available FOR FREE (at the moment) on:

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A Woman on the Internet Reviews A Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 10: The Winds of Winter, SEASON 6 FINALE

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FULL SPOILER REVIEW AHEAD

After lots of set back and a little bit of procrastination, here I finally am with my review for Game of Thrones, season 6’s 10th episode. Some people have complained that the seasons have been getting shorter and shorter, but I cannot praise this change hard enough. I cannot wait to see what season 7 and it’s 7-6 episodes, and season 8, will be like.

The finale starts with a particularly cinematographic and quiet start. Today is the day of judgement for Loras Tyrell and Cersei Lannister. We watch as Tommen, Margery, Cersei and the high sparrow get dressed, all in their own different ways, some in simple fashion and the other with some absolutely beautiful and impressive clothes and jewelry. The music that played during these scenes are absolutely wonderful, and I rewatched those scenes more than once because of it. Tommen is dressed but decides to skip the first half of the trial: Loras’s judgement, perhaps for his honest love for Margaery and not wanting to see her in pain, I found that saddening but sweet. Maester Pycelle gets ready to go judge Loras’s homosexuality and Cersei’s incest and “depravity” but not before saying bye to his prostitute of the night. On his way there, a child tells him that he is needed somewhere. Lora’s trial doesn’t happen since he decides to confess to everything, Renly, his “depravity”, and then promises the high sparrow to devote his life to the faith. They both agree to what this would entail, renouncing all that makes him a Tyrell, all that would be his, Mace isn’t down with this, but Margaery, who also isn’t down, stops him because it has gone to far and all that she has left to do is to continue playing the game. It hurts, but it’s true. Her cleverness knows no end.

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I’ll miss you baby girl

Loras’s forehead is carved because reasons. Tommen finally decides that he probably should be present for his mother’s trial but is stopped by Gregor, meanwhile, Cersei finished getting dressed and is having a drink. I wish I was having a drink. Cersei looks absolutely amazing. It turns out that Varys’s former little birds are hard at work. Lancel is set to get Cersei but he notices a suspicious child and decides to follow him (because reasons) which leads him to get stabbed, while Pycelle receives a similar treatment. Part of me really enjoyed watching little children kill Lancel the king of bummers and Pycelle who simply is way too gross to exist. Margaery, the queen of cleverness is the only one who begins to notice that something is very wrong, and she tells the high sparrow that they need to go, but he ignores her warning. Under the Sept lays a large amount of cached wildfire, and candles have been placed above the liquid, as a wounded Lancel approaches the candles a cherry is placed on top of the cake that is this magnificent scene. The piano is chilling, the music is chilling, Margaery’s face as she understands, and Cersei’s own face as she stares at the Sept are both absolutely magnificent.

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Really feeling this

The wildfire is lit, the Sept burns, and everyone in it dies. Margery, Loras, Lancel, the high sparrow, Mace etc. Cersei and Tommen watch as the green fire burns. Cersei’s badassery doesn’t end there as she goes to pay a visit to Septa Unella. She gives her some of her own medicine, explaining that she knows that she starved and hit Cersei, not for faith, but because she liked it. Cersei confesses her actions once again, but in her own way, which she points out when she says “Confessing feels good under the right circumstances” I smiled, for once in a long time, I am enjoying Cersei. Unella thinks that Cersei is here to kill her, but instead, Cersei calls Gregor in.

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Phew, that was close

For a moment there I felt incredibly uncomfortable, I began expecting a rape scene (and I’m not the only one who felt that way) and started to take notes and make assumptions in consequences, but as the scene continues Gregor seems to be hurting Unella’s top half. Cersei walks out and yells “shame” over and over, and I was relieved that Unella’s screams aren’t those of a raped woman. Tommen is delivered the news of Margery’s death, the camera stays on the cloud of smoke that is where the Sept used to be and remains there, as Tommen removes his crown and throws himself from the widow. This also was spoiled to me by the internet, but I found this scene so..well made and somewhat beautiful. (This also completely fulfills Cersei’s prophecy) I am saddened that Margaery story ends here as I had high hopes for her character, I will miss her. I am now committed to this episode.

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Tragic

At the Twins, Walder Frey is celebrating his “victory” and control of Riverrun as Jaime looks absolutely bored. When the celebrations start, Walder approaches Jaime and continues to express his amusement and tries to chill with Jaime, which doesn’t work. Walder mocks the Tullys and the Starks, wondering where these two families are. Jaime reminds Walder that people fear the Lannisters, not the Frey, which isn’t entirely true but sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.

Back in King’s Landing, Cersei asks Qyburn to show her Tommen’s body. Cersei remains emotionless and cold, and she tells Qyburn to burn Tommen’s body and place him with his brother, sister, and Tywin’s body.

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Sam and Gilly finally arrive in Oldtown and it is so beautiful I did shed a single tear.

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Yesssss

Sam explains to the main at the Citadel that he brings a letter from Jon Snow, the current Lord Commander, and that he is here to be the new Maester, but according to their records Jeor Mormont is lord commander. Sam tells him of Jeor Mormont and Aemon’s deaths to which the man replies that that is irregular. “Life is irregular” Sam says, and at 4am, in the middle of the night, I burst in laughter and probably woke my neighbors. Sam is told that he can see the library, which excites him (and me) until Gilly is told by the man that children and women aren’t allowed. The patriarchy is a fucking bummer, you guys. The library is absolutely splendid, Sam almost cries while I’m in full bawling mode. I wish I could go to such a library, live there for weeks and feed my mind with history, myths and more.

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The patriarchy is such a fucking bummer

In Winterfell, Jon is reminiscing. He tells Melisandre of the feats his family would have, and how he would have to sit far away. Melisandre tells him that at least he has a family, at least he had feasts. For a second there I felt empathy for her, but then Davos came in and threw Shireen’s wooden stag in her hands. Davos exposes Melisandre’s actions, forcing her to confess having murdering Shireen to Jon. She attempts to excuse her actions with her “I do what the lord of light wants” bullshit but Davos is heartbroken, furious, and done with her shit. His line “If he commands you to burn children, then your lord is evil” echoed with me. Melisandre attempts to explain that she didn’t lie about Davos and was simply wrong, but her wrong assumptions caused many deaths, and for the burning of an innocent child, which resulted into nothing. Davos asks that Melisandre be executed, but instead Jon banishes her from the north. Melisandre’s sad face is still the prettiest of them all as she rides away from Winterfell.

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As Jon watches Melisandre leave, Sansa joins him. Jon tells her that she will be taking their parent’s room, she protests, he protests back, saying that he isn’t a Stark, Sansa says that he is a Stark to her. It’s cute, I enjoy it, but the tension that result from Sansa’s omission to tell Jon about Littlefinger and the Knights of the Veil weighs heavily between them.

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You need to get your shit together

Sansa apologizes, Jon tells her that they cannot afford not to trust one another, that they have too many enemies. Sansa says that only a fool would trust Littlefinger, and while I agree with her, everything seems to be pointing to her currently trusting Littlefinger, even if just a little bit, so her statement falls flat. Sansa tells Jon that a raven came from the citadel, a white raven, and that winter is here. At first I cringle a little bit at Sansa’s line I’ll be honest. I saw it coming from miles away and it didn’t feel as right as it could have felt, but her words are redeemed by Jon’s smile and response, reminiscing once again of his parents, and their father words. It’s sweet, and I’m starting to like Jon. (I know, oh my god, who would have though I’d ever say that!)

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Jon is really growing on me

Meanwhile, the Dorne storyline might not be entirely ruined after all because Olenna is there and she is absolutely everything and much more. She is having a meeting with Ellaria and the wannabe Sand Snakes (it’s so shameful it makes me angry).

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Shut up, Barbara

The girls are trying to beat Olenna at cleverness and one liners, it’s not working. Olenna, who I noticed is wearing black so she must be aware of the burning of the Sept and the death of her grandchildren, wants revenge. Ellaria wants the same, and there comes Varys with his “fire and blood” own one liner. I guess Varys didn’t have any problems finding some friends for Daenarys, I guess the mad king didn’t leave that much of a bitter taste in people’s mouth.

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Olenna needs to be queen #teamolenna

In Meereen the ships are getting ready to sail and Daenarys wants to break up with her fuck buddy Daario aka Jaime 2.0. Daenarys explains that she most likely will have to marry someone in Westeros and can’t or rather shouldn’t bring a lover with her, and although Daario confesses his love for her and insists that he wants to be where she is whatever the situation may be, Daenarys has made up her mind. Daario will then remain in Meereen until the people choose their new leader.

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Yawn

To be frank I am incredibly happy to see this romance end. The first Daario was a complete fail to me, a terrible departure from the book Daario we know and love, and his replacement wasn’t any better considering that what made Daario Daario, his inappropriate behavior, his flirty ways and his culture were completely removed and replaced by a second Jaime. Dany goes to talk to Tyrion who asks her if she is scared, Dany says yes, but also says that the thing that scares her the most is that she said goodbye to a man that loves her and she felt nothing. I did sit there for a second wondering: really? THAT’s the thing that scares you the most? That some dude you that originally approached you because he wanted to fuck you, that you did end up fucking, fell in love with you and you didn’t reciprocate? That’s it? Nothing else? You’ve got some weird sense of priorities, Daenarys Stormborn.

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Seriously though, the #1 thing that scares you is not being in love with Daario?!

Tyrion gives Dany some pretty good advice, although the focus on Daario and their luv feels profoundly silly considering that they are about to sail to Westeros to start a war. Daenarys like Tyrion’s advices and names him the hand of the queen. Cool/ Let’s move on now, please.

Back the Twins Walder Frey is finishing his party alone with some wine and pie. The girl who eyed Jaime earlier approaches him to serve him a second portion while he whines about his sons not being there. In a cool twist (that is inspired by the books) it turns out that his sons have been killed and cooked into pies, and that the girl is actually Arya wearing some other girl’s face. I found it amusing to think of the multiple things that don’t make sense to me: the lack of explaining how it is that Arya healed so quickly, and how she got to Westeros AND to the Twins so fast, but also the impressive commitment she must’ve had to kill Walder Frey’s sons, cut them into pieces and cook pies with their flesh in it. 10 points for commitment & hard work. Arya let’s Walder Frey know that a Stark will be the last thing he will see and slits his throat, it is a very satisfying scene and I approve.

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Yessssss

In Winterfell, in the Godswood, Littlefinger is being a creepy fuck and is continuing with his Sansa obsession. Sansa tries to act like she doesn’t know what Petyr wants but we all know that she does because it is frighteningly obvious. Littlefinger tells Sansa that he has this picture in his head of himself on the Iron Thrones and Sansa by his side, and he attempts to kiss her but she gently stops him and tells him that it is a pretty picture but, like, nah bye. Littlefinger tells Sansa that she, a “true” Stark, daughter of Eddard Stark and Catelyn Tully, born here in the North is the real future of the North and should be the leader, not Jon aka a bastard. I agree with half of this, I do believe that Sansa should be Jon’s equal in terms of Lords of the North (although Sansa wouldn’t really be a good leader). Sansa’s face shows that Littlefinger succeeded in planting a seed of doubt or insecurity in her mind, which makes me angry because Sansa is supposed to have grown.

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Stop. Ruining. Sansa.

Even more up North, Bran, Benjen & Meera arrived at the weirwood heart tree and Benjen declares that he is leaving, and I’m sitting there wondering where the hell is he going?

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Noo don’t go, you’re so pretty!

Benjen says that he cannot cross the wall because of the magic, and nobody tries to think of a way around that. Bran touches the tree and continues his vision of the Tower of Joy to discover that Lyanna had died of a pregnancy. The show does what us book readers already knew and confirms that Jon is Lyanna and Rhaegar son. The scene is touching and it was very nice to see such a widely accepted theory not only confirmed but demonstrated in the show. A lot of people seem to assume that Lyanna was not kidnapped by Rhaegar, that they were in love, that she couldn’t have been raped or anything of the sort because she was a “strong and willful woman” This is profoundly problematic and assumes that women who get raped aren’t strong and just “let” themselves be raped, or taken away. I think that pushing away the possibility that Lyanna may have indeed bee n kidnapped by the son of the mad king, raped, and then died from a pregnancy is naïve considering how prevalent rape is in medieval settings and how little of a choice Lyanna would have had if Rhaegar had decided that he wanted her.

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Reminding the internet that women’s DNA exists too, Jon is as much a Stark as he is a Targaryen 

We return to Winterfell to see everyone in the great hall speak about the battle that went on and what the plan is. Yohn Royce is a dick and decides to shit on the wildling even though they are one of the reasons why everybody wasn’t completely massacred, and then other lords decide to declare that the war is over and all is good, until Lyanna Mormont gets up and starts talking. Now, my first impression of Lyanna Mormont and what I felt didn’t align with everyone else’s opinion. I didn’t like the Sansa bashing and the fact that her suffering was ignoring and she was called a Lannister and/or a Bolton because Sansa is my girl, but this scene, THIS SCENE.

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Yes, all of this = yess

Lyanna’s speak was great, she put the houses that refused house Stark’s call on blast, making it clear that even though they were pledge to follow the house, they didn’t when it was needed, and she pledges House Mormont’s support to House Stark once again, which causes the other houses to step it down a notch, apologize and declare not only their loyalty, but declare Jon the King in the North. This scene was nice but…it also frustrated me. Perhaps it was naïve of me, maybe not, but a part of me was hoping for Sansa to be Jon’s partner and equal as of now, and for her to be declared Queen in the North by her brother’s side not only because she is a Stark, but because she played a large role in the victory of the battle of the bastards. As the men in the room chant and praise the new king in the north, the camera lingers on Sansa’s face and Petyr’s, whose seed of doubt and insecurity has been planted quite deep. Sansa’s discomfort is obvious and I wonder where this will be going. Part of me hopes that Sansa and Jon’s relationship will only deepen, that he will make her the player that she should be, that Sansa has indeed grown and will not be played so easily, won’t be so insecure so easily, and will indeed trust her brother. But another part of me still doubts the showrunner’s capacity to really treat the character of Sansa well. We will see.

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cmonnn

In King’s Landing, Jaime is already back (they REALLY need to put some sort of time stamp because either everyone is teleporting or the pacing throughout and into the episodes needs some readjusting) Jaime sees that the Sept was destroyed and is arriving just in time (how incredibly convenient) to see Cersei in her BOSS ASS dress be declared queen. (Qyburn, who places the crown upon Cersei’s head, didn’t seem too sure about all that for a second) Jaime looks at Cersei with what I assume is distain and disappointment considering that the reason he had killed the Mad King in the first place was to avoid this, but now, the woman that he loves officially is queen, but also the mad queen. (that dress though, GOD)

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That dress is everything

The episode end with an absolutely fantastic scene and some fantastic CGI. It’s during those scenes that I think about my boyfriend, who is a 3D artist, and the many, many late nights or full 7 days work week spent on working on shots for TV shows and the incredible work, sweat and patience that those artists put into those scenes. We take so incredibly easily for granted the scenes we love the most about the shows we love the most, and the work that was done by people who aren’t paid nearly enough for the time that they spend and the sacrifices that they have made and make every day in their lives to give us those two minutes of absolutely joy and excitement. We see as thousands of ships, Targaryen, Martell and Greyjoys, are sailing through the sea, dragons flying above ships, making it clear that Daenarys has departed for Westeros and is on her way. Season 7 will most likely open with her arrival, and that is something I am very intrigued about.

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Looking good though

10/10 – This was one of my favorite episode of the season. The pacing was much better, each scene seems to have been given the appropriate amount of time, and I was given an interest in Cersei again which I hasn’t expected. Bonus: Big wow at the people responsible for the music composition for this season, because it’s been particularly amazing.

I will be making a review of this season as a whole, what were some of my expectations, disappointments, fears and surprises, as well as the things that were improved, how and why. So keep an eye out for this

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A Woman on the Internet Reviews A Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards

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FULL SPOILER REVIEW AHEAD

Episode 9, Battle of the Bastards was spoiled for me so quickly and so intensely that I wasn’t sure how much of it I was going to be able to truly enjoy the way it was meant to. I remember back in the day, when season 1 first premiere, and season 2 followed, and book readers were begged and threatened not to spoil anything for those who hadn’t read the books or weren’t interested to. I, as a book reader, was always hyper aware of this, and would always be extremely careful to make sure if someone had read the books or not before, so that I could watch what I said. But now that the show has surpassed the books, show watchers have demonstrated none of that decency. The episodes are spoiled WHILE airing both on social media and on news outlets, ruining it for anyone who: happens to work that night, has kids, isn’t American, can get around to watch it that night or week for whatever reason, or for anyone who hasn’t gotten around to watch the show yet, and this makes me furious. Anyway, let’s get to it.

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That wig though

We begin in Meereen as the Masters continue to attack the city, but Danaerys is finally back. The episode opens with a beautiful shot of a besieged Meereen as Danaerys looks down and over with her absolutely perfect in every way hair blowing in the wind. Tyrion is there attempting to make excuses for having made a deal with the masters to keep slavery around, and ruining it for everyone. As Danaerys explains that her plan will be to kill all the Masters and destroy their ships and cities, Tyrion does make a good point by reminding Danaerys of her heritage: her father, the mad king, and how he wanted to “burn them all”, the city, children and women, innocent and not so innocent included. As she retorts that the present situation is entirely different, Tyrion replies that it isn’t entirely different at all, and for once this season, I agree with Tyrion. Dany seems to listen to Tyrion and they all meet up with the Masters. They proceed to explain how Dany will surrender, by given them the city, the slaves, the Unsullied and letting them kill her dragon, which made both Dany and I smile. It’s almost like people forget that Danaerys has dragons and that she’s been using them, their ego is absolutely ridiculous. Danaerys explain to them that she isn’t here to discuss her surrendering, but theirs, and SOMEHOW Drogon shows up right on time to do a boss ass bitch landing right next to his mother, reminding the masters who they are dealing with.

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As they shit in their pants, the next scenes mainly focus on Danaerys riding Drogon and attacking one ship out of the whole fleet. Rhaegal and Viserion are released or break through (confused) from under the pyramid and I sat there for a second wondering two things: How? How did Rhaegal and Viserion get out? Were they released? Did they escape themselves? How? Second, how does Dany control Drogon, and her two other dragons as well, how does she command it, how does it know which way to go, when to stop etc? How does the show establish Danaerys’ connection to her dragon? Is it Targaryen blood? Is it magic? It is her? All three?

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Meanwhile Grey Worm is being the boss ass bitch, fine man that he is and as Missandei explains to the Masters that one of them will have to die, he kills the two that betrayed the begging one, before Tyrion explains that tales of Danaery’s wrath and mercy should be spread around. I thought it was cool.

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In Westeros, in the north, Jon & Sansa are meeting with Ramsay, who tells everyone to kneel down, proclaim him warden of the north and he’ll spare them because he’s merciful and shit. I giggled. Sansa asks for proof that Ramsay has Rickon and there goes Shaggywolf’s head thrown at us, again. My feels, man. Everywhere where I was spoiled the episode I saw complains of Sansa’s supposed indifference at the whole Rickon affair, but here I saw staring at Sansa’s face and the look in her eyes as Shaggywolf’s head laid on the ground and nothing could have been missed. The sadness but clarity of it all was obvious on her face, right there, the moment she knew that her brother was gone no matter what they did. Sansa lets Ramsay know that his death will come tomorrow, and fucks off, and I liked it.

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Back the camp, Jon, Davos and Tormund discuss battle strategy as Sansa stand by them. When they are done Sansa decides that now is the good time to criticize Jon for not asking her opinion, even though she was standing there when they were discussing strategy and Jon most likely would have listened to her. There are a lot of things that Sansa does in that episode that I thought were quite frankly completely silly and illogical. As Sansa says it herself, she isn’t a soldier, she doesn’t know how battle strategy works, yet she blames Jon for the silence she imposed on herself. Perhaps Sansa trusts Davos and Tormund so little that she believes she cannot speak in their presence, or doesn’t want, a lot of seems, reasons could be thought out, but in the current situations of everyone’s lives being in danger, including her brothers’s, and her home possibly being retaken, it felt completely silly of Sansa to stand there in silence and then blame Jon for a silence he did not impose on her. Jon is understanding, and asks Sansa her opinion. Some of the points that she made may seem obvious, but they aren’t and this is demonstrated the next day. Sansa warns Jon that Ramsay will fuck with his mind, that he will play with him and make him to things he shouldn’t be doing by triggering some emotions. Jon doesn’t take her words very seriously, especially when she tells him that Rickon will be killed no matter what since he is the only valid Stark out there and both end the conversation frustrated, as Sansa makes it clear that if the battle is lost, she would die rather than return to Ramsay. When Jon promises to protect her, Sansa says one of her best, and one of the truest lines of the series: “No one can protect me. No one can protect anyone.”

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In the camp, Davos and Tormund are chatting away about Stannis’s inner demons which freaks Tormund out a little bit because he doesn’t get metaphors and figure of speech. Tormund goes to get shitface while Davos decides that he rather walks & think than rest before a massive battle. Ok.

Jon goes to visit Melisandre to let her know that if he dies at the battle, not to bring him back because it’s kind of fucked up and he’s not down with experiencing that a second time. Melisandre basically replies “no, can’t do” and some nonsense about how she only does what she interprets what the lord of light can do, and how she’s completely useless and can’t help at all in the battle in the morning. This is the woman who birthed a shadow baby to murder Renly and who wasn’t affected by poisoned drinks, you guys. Jon thinks her god is silly, I agree.

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In the meantime, as Davos walks through the snow and the scenery that surrounds the camp, he finds the place where Shireen was burned alive, and finds on the ground the wooden stag he had carved for her (why didn’t it burned? TV writing, that’s how, but ok). Although a little silly, this was a beautiful scene. As Davos begins to understand what took place there, the color red and orange start to peek through the snow as dawn breaks and as the Boltons install their burning victims to prepare for battle. This was beautiful cinematography.

PrtScr capture_8.jpgWe quickly move to Meereen where Daenarys and Tyrion are receiving Yara and Theon. I’m not sure what is up with everyone traveling at the speed of light, but ok. Yara explains their situations, and Theon explains his inability and lack of desire to rule, Daenarys seems more than pleased at the idea of a simple alliance with another woman and a house that does not want to rule the seven kingdoms, as well as the idea of another female ruler. Daenarys and Yara flirted and eyed fuck each other, and the interne interned lost its shit. I did too, a little bit. Yara explains that her uncle wants to give his “big fat cock” to Dany, which made Dany smirked, especially when Yara reassured her that there isn’t obligation for her to marry anyone, but that she herself is up for anything. #doublesmirk. The only silly thing in the entire scene is Daenerys’s demand for the Greyjoy to stop all pillaging and raping, even though most of Daenerys’s army is made out of Dothrakis: pillaging and raping machines.

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Great things can happen when women work together

Back in Westeros, up north the battle is ready to happen. Jon’s strategy seems to be to make sure that the Boltons charge at them first. But, Ramsay being Ramsay, Rickon is brought in and asked to play a game, to run to his brother as fast as he can while Ramsay shoots arrows in his direction. The scene, although the internet spoiled it to exhaustion, was a beautiful but tragic scene because we all knew (whether spoiled or not) that this wasn’t going to end well. The desperation in both Rickon and Jon’s face, the anger on Davos’s, and the amusement on Ramsay’s. Rickon is obviously shot and killed moments before reaching Jon, but that is when we realized that the plan wasn’t just to upset Jon, but to get him out and vulnerable, as Jon decides to charge, and Ramsay shoots his horse down, leaving Jon, on foot, in front of the Bolton army. The whole battle scene would take too long and would be too hard to explain in details, and truly, if you have seen the episode, would be a bit unnecessary for me to describe from start to end. The battle is violent, on multiple occasions, Jon is either hit by a horse, murdered or trampled, and by the end of the first half of the battle, he indeed ends up covered in both Bolton and Stark allies’s bodies, gasping for hair. As the battle seem to reach an end that that doesn’t tilt in Jon’s favor, the Boltons continue to show amazing strategy and circle whatever remains of Jon’s army.

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Loved that shot

In that moment, Game of Thrones reminded me that the show has well surpassed the books and that the writing now is 100% show writing, as very conveniently, the army of the Knights of the Vale show up, follows by Littlefinger and Sansa, who is smirking from ear to ear even though an MASSACRE just took place and her brother very most likely would have been long dead (one of them is). The Knight of the Vale break through the Boltons, disturbing their plan, and Jon, Tormund and Wun Wun use this distraction as a change to follow Ramsay who, like the cowards that he is, is returning to Winterfell because the arrival of the Knights of the Vale makes his defeat more than obvious. Wun Wun destroys their barricaded door but is killed in the process. Ramsay proposes Jon the one on one combat that has originally been proposed, which made me giggle, which I guess Jon accepts as he begins to walks towards Ramsay. Even though he is equipped with a bow, Jon makes his way to him through the protection of a Mormont shield (nice touch) and nearly punches Ramsay to death, before stopping at the sight of Sansa entering Winterfell. The Bolton banners are removed, and the Stark ones are reinstalled, which I’ll admit made me tear up a little bit. Davos is squeezing Shireen’s wooden stag and glaring at Melisandre, who seems rather pleased.

The episode ends with a scene I enjoyed purely because I want the Ramsay/Sansa plot to be burned, buried and forgotten for it was absolutely atrocious. Sansa visits a tied up Ramsay in the dogs’s cell. He tells her that she cannot kill him, that he is and will always be a part of her. Sansa words are beautiful, poignant, but we don’t know how true they are, as she tells him that: “Your words will disappear. Your house will disappear. Your name will disappear. All memory of your will disappear.” As she finishes her speech, Ramsay’s dogs begin to steps out of their cages (somehow? Nice cue though) and eat him starting by his face as Sansa watches. As she walks away, she smirks, once again in a similar fashion of Jon & Arya walking away from things as well.

PrtScr capture_14 I know a lot of people are interpreting Ramsay’s “I’m a part of you now” ’s words as Sansa being pregnant. If this had been a suspicion during season 5, I would have believed it considering the treatment of women on the show and how they were constantly being punished in the most horrible ways. After this season, I’m not so sure this would be a direction they would take. This season was very different from how Game of Thrones has always treated its female characters, there hasn’t been a single rape or insinuated rape (either on screen or off) this season, the show very obviously chose to put its focus on the women and KEPT it there, as nearly every single storyline either entirely or largely focuses on female character (which I loved, please continue). Sansa being pregnant from one of the many times she was raped by Ramsay would be yet another torture and horrible thing happening to Sansa and so far, nothing has really hinted at this, so I choose to believe that Ramsay’s lines refers to their time together and the rape, abuse and physiological torture he put her through. Especially since Ramsay WILL indeed always be a part of Sansa and her story one way or another.

9/10 – All and all, this was a great episode but not for the reasons you might think. The cinematography, Davos’s discovery of Shireen’s Pyre, the battle, were my two favorite things from the episode. It was great and although we had been given an amazing opening scene (not one dragon, not two, BUT THREE) the battle, and Jon’s fighting, is what grasped and kept my attention.

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A Woman on the Internet Reviews A Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 8: No One

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FULL SPOILER REVIEW AHEAD

After a very big delay due to HBO sucking ass and refusing to let Canadians watch their shows, I am back in the game, so without further due, let’s jump right into it.

We begin this episode in Braavos as Lady Crane plays Cersei and watches Joffrey die for the billionth time, but this time, she’s taken Arya’s advice and gives us a little bit of that Lannister rage (but just a bit though). Back into her cabin, she then discovers a badly wounded Arya hiding in her closet. She brings Arya back to her house and…fixes her? I was quite surprise at how quickly Arya seemed to heal considering that she was stabbed a la Jon style, but I guess some patching up and a bit of soup was all that she needed, somehow. Lady Crane gives Arya some milk of the poppy which gets her to sleep.

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In the Riverlands some bros from the Brotherhood without Banners are sharing crude jokes, and, well, it’s gross. Sandor shows up and gives us what we’ve all been craving for, some good old justice.

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In Meereen, Varys and Tyrion are discussing some various things I tried to care about but more of less failed. Varys isn’t down with making deals with fanatics and I’m 100% behind him. Everything that Tyrion has been doing since reaching Meereen has been utter nonsense to me and I wish he would just either leave, or die. But I know I’m in the minority here. Varys is leaving on some secret expedition to help Daenarys make some westerosi friends, but not before Tyrion reminds him that he is the most famous dwarf in the world (and the man with the biggest ego as well, in my opinion).

Cersei, who is still confined to the Red Keep back in King’s Landing is told that Faith Militant has been allowed in the red keep and are here to tell Cersei that the High Sparrow has demanded to see her. Cersei, who doesn’t take any orders from some nobody’s little bitch refuses and Gregor Clegane decides to rip some bro’s face in half with his bare hands to help his lady’s message to come across. It was fantastic.

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Some of my favorite scenes of this episode surprisingly took place in Riverrun as Brienne finally reaches the castle to find Frey and Lannister forces besieging the castle and thus, Brynden Tully aka The Blackfish for who she has some mail. While Brienne enters Jaime’s tent Podrick is reunited with Bronn who jumps on the occasion to make crude comments about Jaime and Brienne possibly fucking because, reasons. I know a lot of people are riding real hard the Brienne and Jaime train, and I used to be one of them originally, until the show runners decided to make Jaime a rapist and a huge dick while still insisting that he’s one of the good guys. Brienne and Jaime obviously don’t agree with their current political views (have they ever?) and Brienne reminds Jaime multiple times where her allegiance lies. She tells him that if she isn’t able to convince the blackfish to give the castle so he can go and protect Sansa, that she and Jaime will have to fight, and we all know who won the first time.

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Brienne is allowed inside the castle and although the Blackfish isn’t very trusting to say the least, she’s able to give him the letter that he does seem to recognize comes from Sansa, before refusing anyway.

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Back in King’s Landing, Cersei and Qyburn enter the great hall to find a large group of people waiting for some royal announcement. Kevan Lannister lets her know that she isn’t allowed to stand by her son and instead will have to stand with “the other ladies of the court”. Although I can recognize how much of a pain in the ass Cersei is, even I feel bad for her for such disrespect considering ho much Cersei has gone through with in terms of their ideas for “an atonement”. Tommen the brainwash king of the moment makes two announcements. First, Loras and Cersei’s trials will be held in the great sept, and secondly, that trial by combat won’t be a thing anymore and that they will instead be judge by seven septons (because only great things can amount from a gay man and a unfaithful, incestuous woman being judged by seven, old and religious white men) I would like to note that the music during that scene was particularly fantastic.

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Back in Meereen Tyrion’s ego continues to give me chronic migraines as he basically praises himself for making sure that slavery continues for a MERE seven years. He attempts to make a few jokes while forcing Missandei and Grey Worm to drink alcohol they have turned down a dozen times now, and his jokes aren’t funny at all. Missandei’s joke is met with mostly silence and confusion, but I giggled really hard because I enjoyed it. Grey Worm’s joke was alright but it was Missandei’s carefree laugh and Grey Worm’s face as he looked at her that made this scene a really nice one to watch. As Tyrion starts to tell a joke we’ve all heard him say way too many times, the city is attacked by the Masters who are here to take what Tyrion has promised them: slaves. People.

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But can we take a second to appreciate the perfection that is Nathalie Joanne Emmanuel?

Back with Jaime, the episode offered what was quite a difficult scene for me to watch because I wasn’t sure what point the show runners were trying to pass across to us, if there was any point at all. Jaime goes to visit Edmure Tully who is still held captive by both the Freys and the Lannisters and apologizes for the way the Freys have treated him. Edmure, who isn’t really interested in listening to Jaime try to convince himself that he is one of the good guys, tries to shorten the conversation by assuring that his uncle, the blackfish, will never give them the castle. He is told by Jaime that his son was born and that if he convinces his uncle to surrender, his would allow Edmure, his wife and his son to live comfortably in Casterly Rock, to which Edmure replies by asking Jaime how he is able to sleep at night considering how much of an evil and fucked up man he is. Jaime tells Edmure of the time he was Catelyn’s prisoner, and how she showed him respect and did everything that she could for her children, like Cersei would (although that is questionable), and that he admires these qualities, and so, if Edmure refuses him again he would catapult his son onto the castle. Isn’t Jaime just the best?!

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And so, Edmure, trying to save his son’s life, tricks the guards into letting him back into the castle against the blackfish’s warning to those same guards which turned out to be right as Edmure orders them right away to lower the gates so that the Frey and Lannister soldiers can come in and take the castle. Meanwhile, the Blackfish helps Brienne and Podrick escape by both bellow the castle before he is killed defending his home. As Brienne and Podrick leave, Jaime notices them and says nothing, he waves at Brienne and Brienne waves at him, and I’m disgusted at this attempt to make Jaime seem conflicted or good, or a man stuck in a situation he can’t get out of. The Jaime of the book is a much different man, this Jaime chooses to be an utter asshole.

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The Blackfish will be greatly missed

Meereen is till under siege and things aren’t doing so well, until Daenarys lands on the top of the pyramid and barges in on Tyrion, Grey Worm and Missandei looking like a mother who is pissed off that she can’t leave for a week-end without her kids destroying everything.

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The Hound finds the men he was looking for but they were found by Beric and other men from the Brotherhood. They are nice enough to allow him to kill two out of the tree men, something I was quite surprised about actually, and he does just that. Gregor sticks with them a little longer for some food, pissing and casual conversing where he is told that the brotherhood is fighting for a greater cause because “cold winds are rising in the north”. Sandor doesn’t really believe any of their shit or that they would be able to do anything, but Beric insists that Gregor was born to fight. Also, we saw Gregor’s penis.

The next morning, Lady Crane is murdered by who seemed to be waif in disguised, Arya discovers her blooded body and there begins a very interesting chase scene in the streets of Braavos. I must say, although I did giggle here and then because the waif kept reminding me of the Terminator T-1000, it was very nice to give us something we haven’t had in Game of Thrones before, a classic chase scene with some pretty rad moves and tricks. Arya runs away and goes back to her original hiding spot where….a candle is already lit, which she cuts in order to do her badass I’m used to the dark stuff. The scene moves to Jaquen H’ghar who follows a trail of blood that leads in to the Hall of Faces where he finds the Waif’s cut of faces. Arya, who has needle pointed at him, asks him if he was the one who sent the Waif to kill her, to which he casually responds: yes, followed by asking Arya is “a girl has finally become no one”. Arya replies that “a girl is Arya Stark, and I’m going home” and exists the Hall of Faces in the same fashion that Jon left after declaring that his watch has ended.

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FINALLY

8/10 – This episode was well balanced, I enjoyed Cersei, Brienne and Arya finally dropped the whole faceless men storyline.

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A Woman on the Internet Reviews Punky Pins

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A while ago I discovered the Instagram account Punkypins and fell in love with their pins, whether purposely feminist or not, they were all amazing, puns, references to Clueless and avocado all made me double tap one picture after the other. A few days ago I took the liberty to contact Punkypins and they were kind enough to send me a package to review considering that this is a feminist blog and, once again, their feminist pins & patches are everything.

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As stated on their website: “The Punky Pins range of products are handmade to the highest quality and are expected to pass various quality control checks before they are dispatched.”

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I talked to someone at Punkypins on June 8th and received my package on the 14th. Considering how used I am for packages to arrive only after 2 weeks I was very surprised at how quickly it arrived. It all came in a slim package and had the cutest paper & sticker with “Be awesome” on it.

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Each pin as well as the one patch I was sent were careful placed into plastic bags, safely pinned, clean and without a single scratch on them. From the moment I laid eyes on them I fell in love with every single one of them.

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Feminist & Proud can be found here

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Pro cats can be found here

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End Cat Calling can be found here

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Girl Gang can be found here

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Feminist & Proud, the patch can be found here

In the end, I was incredibly excited to receive this package, I almost died when I opened it, and I cannot wait to pin all of these on my jacket and adorn the Feminist & Proud pink patch. This has confirmed to me that this company is awesome, they were friendly, it was fast, clean, and now I want to order every single pin & patch.

definitely make sure to go check out Punkypins’s website right here, browse through the awesome and vast selection of pins, jewelry, patches and stickers and make sure to tag me in your pictures when you share the things you receive! Thank you so much at the folks at Punkypins for sending me these! They are amazing, keep up the great work!

Now I just need the avocado pin…

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A Woman on the Internet Reviews A Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 7: The Broken Man

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FULL SPOILER REVIEW AHEAD

I have procrastinated writing this review for a while now. I got sick the week that followed that Sunday, and then so many terrible things happened that I quite frankly didn’t have the heart to talk about game of thrones stuff. My cold has gotten better, the weather is finally picking up, so let’s do this.

This episode doesn’t open up with Game of Thrones’s famous opening animation, but instead we are sent right away into the Riverlands where we learn (although it we were all expecting it) that Sandor aka The Hound isn’t dead but is chilling with a Septon named Brother Ray & his buddies. We learn that Brother Ray is the person who found Sandor near death and saved his life. I notice something…different in Sandor, something a little too different compared to the man we are used to, a softness that is a little off putting in the way that he talks and respond to Brother Ray. I guess I like it, but I don’t know how much I like that difference. Brother Ray, although a cool dude played Ian McShane who I swore I recognised, but when I looked at his filmography there wasn’t much in there that I have seen so perhaps he’s just got that kind of face, gives Sandor the basic Septon anti-violence speech and I am so tired of religion. I did really enjoy Sandor’s bluntness in making it clear that the man who beat him was a woman. #teambrienne

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Hey look, this character we all knew wasn’t dead isn’t dead

In King’s Landing, Margaery continues to play a real good game with the High Sparow as they talk about love, mercy and all of that religion stuff I could not give less of a shit about. The High Sparrow reminds us that Westeros like our own universe is a Patriarchy that doesn’t give two shits about women as he asks Margaery why she hasn’t fucked Tommen since her “release”, and as she explains that she is struggling to desire sex at the moment, the High Sparrow tells her that it is her “duty” to have sex with Tommen and that “congress does not require desire on the woman’s part, only patience”. I threw up in my mouth a little. He then finishes that lovely conversation by casually threatening Margaery’s grandmother, Olenna, which leads Margaery to meet with her grandmother and pass her a secret note as she aggressively encourages her to leave King’s Landing.

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I feel so bad for the Tyrells

In the north, Jon & Sansa have begun looking for allies to help them retake Winterfell. The Wildings aren’t really interested in helping, believing that this isn’t their fight, but Jon makes it clear that the Boltons aren’t a problem only for the Starks, but will ruin everything for everyone if they aren’t stopped, everyone seems to think that that is pretty legit. Tormund reminds them that Jon did actually die for them and the giant, whose name I completely forgot, declares his allegiance by saying “Snow”, which was kind of sweet.

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In King’s Landing, as Olenna prepares herself to get the fuck out of there, Cersei decides that it’s a grand and genius idea to visit a woman that hates her and tell her that they “both need one another”, when Cersei doesn’t really have anything to offer to anyone at this point. Olenna laughed. I laughed. Cersei looks likes a fool as she’s being calling out on her shit and her many, many failures.

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Everything that comes out of Olenna’s mouth is gold

Meanwhile, Jaime arrives in Riverrun with Bronn (and I apparently am the only person on the internet who didn’t miss him). The Freys are threatening the Blackfish that if he doesn’t let them in they will kill Edmure, but Blackfish doesn’t give a single shit and tells them to go ahead, they don’t. Jaime calls them out on their incompetence and gives a backhanded slap we all enjoyed seeing.

Back with Jon & Sansa who apparently are able to travel throughout the north from one place to the next in matters of a day or two instead of the weeks it should take them, we meet Lyanna Mormon, the leader of House Mormon and thus Bear Island. This scene was entirely spoiled and ruined to exhaustion to me by the internet who simply HAD to post clips and pictures of this scene at least every 5 minutes, acting like Lyanna Mormon is the best thing that ever appeared on any show ever and how cool she is for reminding Sansa that she lives under a Patriarchal society that puts as much value on her life as is put on cattle. And how it’s fucking rad that Lyanna reminded Sansa that she was given like merchandise from one man to the next to be beaten, abuse, tortured and raped, and that she’s got all of these last names and lol isn’t it funny to have your body autonomy completely taken away and have your identity denied because the moment you are given to a man you become his property?! Sooooo cool, Lyanna FTW! Lyanna mocks Jon and Sansa, blames them for a war that affects everyone and that they didn’t start, and although she makes a good few points, the way Sansa was ridiculed left a bad taste in my mouth. The scene is redeemed when Davos gets to talk to Lyanna and convince her to give her allegiance based on necessity.

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Fuck you Lyanna Mormon

The Blackfish has a talk with Jaime that reminds me how much I’ve been disliking Jaime since the showrunners decided that he should rape Cersei by Joffrey’s body but still somehow remain a good guy in our eyes. I miss the Jaime that traveled with Brienne and grew to be a better person, his current cockiness and good guy that is actually a dick attitude only reminds me of what is going on with Tyrion at the moment. Blackfish destroys Jaime with words and wasn’t even trying. It was grandiose.

 

In Deepwood Motte, Jon and Sansa aren’t able to secure House Glover’s allegiance because Robett Glover still isn’t over the fact that had to watch his wife and children, and his subjects be murdered before his eyes because of Robb’s failures. I liked this better than I liked Lyanna, and I wish Sansa didn’t get so much shit from everyone.

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Why is everyone such a dick to Sansa?

My favorite part of this episode hands down was Yara and Theon’s scene. Recently arrived in Volantis after running away from their dick of an uncle, Yara and Theon are taking a pit stop in a brothel and we watch as Yara enjoys the company of a prostitute, a female prostitute, in a way that isn’t to please male viewers but showcase Yara’s queerness. Theon is uncomfortable with the presence of women, and expresses clear signs of trauma and PTSD, which helped me remember the big part that women took in Theon’s torture, which as a result obviously traumatised him. Yet, Yara is understanding, she assures him that she would never hurt him and sends the prostitute away for her to join later. Although her speech of encouraging Theon to kill himself if his trauma has fucked him up for good, the rest of it, as she encourages her brother to come back to her, find himself again, and declare that they will look for Danaeryes and make a pact with her was great and I cannot wait to see the what-could-be of a conversation with Yara and Dany. Do I ship them? Maybe I do! If I remember correctly, Dany has slept with women in the books.

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Queer female character & siblings being supportive = yess

Back one last time with Jon and Sansa, they are in the middle of arguing which is something I had not missed and wish wouldn’t be there. Sansa tells Jon that they don’t have enough men but Jon isn’t being understanding and doesn’t really listen to her worries and her fear, they argue, men are being men and are fighting in the background like fifteen year olds, forcing Davos and then Jon to go break the fight up. Sansa, understandably afraid of the strong possibility of losing to Ramsay and the consequences that would come from such a loss, consequences worse than death, decides to write to Littlefinger in order to get the knights of the Veil.

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pls pls pls don’t have Sansa be betrayed again

Brother Ray gives yet another great speech to Sandor about how it isn’t too late to come back and be a better person, a better version of yourself. Some bros from the Brotherhood without Banners show up and casually threaten the group for goods and food and although Brother Ray doesn’t seem worried, both Sandor and us viewers know that they are all about to be slaughtered.

In bravos Arya isn’t being very clever and is walking around like there isn’t an association of assassin’s looking for her because she double crossed them. She is also very lucky and finds a westerosi on what seems to be her first try (?), throws a bunch of gold at him and declares that although he was planning on leaving in a while, he’ll set sail tomorrow. I mean, it’s not like you need preparation and for your many men to prepare as well before sailing, nah. She continues to walk around, goes sight seeing and it thus found by the Waif who is hiding behind the face of an old lady (a face that was shows and worn previously?!) and stabs Arya so many times I’m reminded of Jon’s death and how much I wished he would have stayed dead. (but he’s cool now so I’m ok with it)

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wtf are you doing??

We finish the episode with The Hound who is proven right by discovering that his entire group has indeed been killed including Brother Ray. He grabs an axe and I do get a few butterflies in my stomach because I do enjoy seeing murderers being murdered.

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I enjoyed Sandor in this episode

All in all, I didn’t think that this episode was as good as it could have been. There were a lot fo scenes and too many characters and places to touch up on, from the back and forth of characters and their multiples scenes scattered across the episode, this reminded me a bit of the mess that was season 5.

6/10 – At least there wasn’t any of that Tyrion & Dany mess.

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A Woman on the Internet Reviews Good Pizza, Great Pizza

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Today we review Good Pizza, Great Pizza, a FREE android and apple store game created by TapBlaze where you open up a restaurant in a very pizza loving city and, well, make pizza!

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I’ll first start by saying that no only is the game beautiful, but I mean, BEAUTIFUL, interactive, but it is absolutely hilarious. From the dialogues, to the “Pizza News Network”, to your neighbor and competitor’s interactions with you. In Good Pizza, Great Pizza, you manually make your pizza by smearing, dragging and/or placing its ingredients onto it, following the sometimes confusing or silly commands or instructions given to you by your customers. As you make money through the day, you will be able to afford more ingredients, or upgrades for your restaurants, which not only come in handy, but are quite simply, well, nice.

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As I finish my pizza and wait for it to come out of the oven, it was and is incredibly relaxing to manually cut my pizza into 6 or sometimes 4 equal slices, place it into a box and serve it to my client, who will either make kind or silly remarks, or will sometimes say something that really doesn’t make any sense at all, but okay, Rita.

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There isn’t all that much more that can be said about a game as simple and straight forward as Good Pizza, Great Pizza other than, for a free game, I did not expect such a polished product, and a game I found myself playing much more often than just at pee breaks, but multiple times through out the day. It made me giggle, it relaxed me, it was fun, and it was free.

9/10 – If the game hadn’t been free, it would have been a good purchase for me. I’m not giving it a 10 because I feel like this is very close to something more.

Available for FREE on:

Android
Apple

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