A Woman on the Internet Reviews A Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 3: Oathbreaker

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FULL SPOILER REVIEW AHEAD

Alright! Episode 3 was on last night, so let’s jump right into it.

The trend of starting and ending the episode with Jon on the wall continues, but this time, Jon is back alive, I didn’t really care for it. Surprisingly enough the scene at the wall of Jon walking to his friends as everyone stares at him was very nice. Both Davos and Melisandre were incredibly surprised at Jon’s resurrection, but the most important moment to me seemed to be Melisandre’s question to Jon, asking him what was on the other side, and Jon’s response: nothing. I’ve read somewhere, and this was something I was thinking a lot about, about how Jon’s death would affect him. Apparently the fact that Jon realizes that there isn’t anything greatly changes his perception of life and what he needs to do with it. I’m very curious to see what they will do with this.

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After this is done, we jump to my beloved Samwell Tarly and Gilly who are on a ship to Horn Hill I believe. Sam has seasickness and Gilly is the literally the best girlfriend ever because she doesn’t give a shit if you’ve got vomit on your face, she’s yours and you are hers. She calls little Sam Samwell’s son and I almost vomited too because it was cute and all.

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plsplspls don’t die

Bran is having another vision of the past, and this time we get to see what really happened at the Tower of Joy when Ned Stark went to rescue his sister Lyanna. The fight that took place was nice, I wondered for a moment how long it’d been since a proper sword fight in game of thrones without gory stuff for shock value. Turns out that Eddard wasn’t always all that honorable and all. His fight with Arthur Dayne doesn’t go all that well until Howland Reed stabs Dayne in the back and Ned finishes the job. Bran is surprised, I’m not. There were two things I really enjoyed from the scene, first, Lyanna’s scream coming from the tower, confirming years of theories about Lyanna’s death. Second, Bran calling out at his father and Ned, somehow, hearing him and turning around. Is it possible that Bran has the ability to interact with the past?! THE POSSIBILITIES. My boy Bran continues to be OP as fuck. Three-eyed Raven stops Bran’s visions because reasons.

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He’s 8, remember?

Dani’s scene is short and a little boring but her story does seem to advance even though things aren’t going very well for her. She arrives at Vaes Dothrak where she meets Dosh Khaleen, widow of Khal Savom at the temple, as well as made other widows. None of them give a shit who Daenerys is and the mother of what or who she is as they believe that every widow of a Khal’s place is where they are. They undress her (confirming that the scene of Daenerys being forcefully undressed in the trailer was not a rape scene, I deeply exhaled in relief)

Meanwhile in Meereen Varys is convincing a Vala, a prostitute with a child, to be a spy for him (or something like that?). The scene was a little odd for me at first because it wasn’t clear whether Varys was threatening her, her son, or wasn’t threatening anybody at all. He ends up convincing Vala, the prostitute who turns out to be working with the Sons of Harpy and who is mad as fuck as some foreign white woman (Dani) for becoming the queen (somehow) and changing the culture and traditions of her country. In this moment I remembered all the articles I read about how Daenerys had been turned into some white savior and how most actors of colors had been slaves in the show even though slavery wasn’t racially motivated in George RR Martin’s books.

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Wait, you mean we can have a prostitute in a scene & still have her be a person?!

Tyrion’s short scene with Grey Worm and Missandei is remarkably bad and awkward and at this point I don’t want to watch anything with Tyrion in it because it’s just hard to watch. He attempts to have a casual chat with them and play a drinking game, but they are a little too busy giving a fuck about actually important things. Missandei was just sitting here thinking “What is wrong with white people?” and I’m right there with her. Varys informs them that the Masters of Yunkai, Astapor and Volantis are the ones funding the Sons od the Harpy and they decide to use Vary’s newly acquired little birds.

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Dick jokes have gotten old and they’re not down with your shit

Meanwhile in King’s Landing, Qyburn is acquiring Vary’s old little spies who turn out to be all kids and behold a cringing scene of an old creepy men offering candy to little kids in exchange for things. Cercei and Cercei’s monster aka butchered-zombie Gregor Clegane walk in, Jaime makes a few jokes and basically calls Gregor stupid, which he realizes isn’t the greatest idea. Cercei orders Qyburn to send his little birds throughout Westeros in order for her to regain control as well as respect, she’s not taking shit and certainly isn’t down with people talking about her walk of shame and her naked body. I get that. Afterwards they decide to join the council and are coldly rejected by Kevan Lannister, Mr. Creepy aka Pycelle, Mace Tyrelle and Olenna Tyrell (who I have been missing terribly). They don’t give a fuck about them, Olenna makes an incest jokes, it was glorious and I laughed.

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Olenna doesn’t give a shit

Tommen visits the High Sparow to convince him to allow Cercei to visit Myrcella’s resting place but he thinks Cercei hasn’t redeemed for her sins hard enough (what about Jaime?). Tommen continues to stand up for his mother and criticizes the way she was treated, but the High Sparow says he doesn’t want to hurt her, the gods do, and all I can think about is how organized religion literally shit both in fantasy and real life.

Arya finally gets to do something other than get beat up in the street, and at first I was okay with it and then I wasn’t. In the previous episode Arya was “saved” by Jaqen H’ghar to further continue her training. We get some sort of training montage, more beating until, behold, she doesn’t suck anymore. Jaqen H’ghar asks Arya, once more, what her name is and promises her her eyesight back if she tells him. Arya replies the same of “no name” response and…gets her eyesight back. Now this is where I got a bit annoyed. I am trying to judge the show for what it is, another interpretation of the story that takes place in the books, but to entirely skip Arya’s experience as the Cat of the Canals, her mastering her lack of sight, her discovery of her powers as a warg as she enters the minds of cats, to give us a few short minutes of a blind Arya being beaten up to receive her eyesight in the simplest way possible is incredibly lazy I don’t know why they didn’t skip the blind part altogether. Lazy writing at its finest.

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wtv tbh

In the North, The Umbers meet with Ramsey now Lord of Winterfell since the whole murdering my father, his wife and her newborn son deal, who wants to link his forces with the Bolton’s but isn’t down wit bowing down to Ramsay today or any day considering their history with not giving a fuck about traditions or pledges. To show that his support is genuine he presents Ramsay with a few prisoners he captured, Osha, and then Rickon Stark who we haven’t seen in forever and now is old as fuck because actors grown (take nots D&D, pls). Ramsay has never met Rickon and so logically doubts the claims that he is who Smalljon claims he is, so Smalljon brings…Shaggywolf’d head. I’ll be honest, I don’t deal very well with one of the death of a Direwolf because so far, the death of a Direwolf has always been a big marking point for the falling from grace from a Stark child (Lady/Sansa, Greywind/Robb), so this was an emotion scene for me and I can only hope that book Rickon has a different storyline in the books because, well, fuck.

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nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Back at the wall, Jon executes his…executioners before stating that he is leaving the Night’s Watch because he died, so, his watch has ended. To be honest, I am so incredibly down with this because, well, I am so incredibly bored with Jon Snow & the Night’s Watch.

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I’m done, bye

So far, the first half of the episode was fine, but the other half was much more interesting particularly the big changes that Ramsay Bolton having Rickon Stark and Jon Snow leaving the Night’s Watch can mean for the story within the show. I’m down.

8/10 – Still no rape.

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