FULL SPOILER REVIEW AHEAD
Oh Game of Thrones, is it possible that you have learned from your previous mistakes?
Episode 2 starts off in the best way it could have, with Bran. As a fan of the A Song of Ice and Fire books (and not so much the show, as I’ve said before) Bran has always been my favorite POV out of everyone else’s. Episode 2 starts with Bran, who we haven’t seen since season 4, is with Bloodraven. One thing that annoyed me has been the choice to skip over a lot of Bran’s storylines, and completely keep him out of season 5 because, obviously, the show has caught up to the books too quickly and there wasn’t much left for Bran, we are now left with a clearly older Isaac Hempstead-Wright who is still supposed to play an 8 year old Bran, but is now 17 and absolutely looks his age, this greatly annoys me, as Bran’s young age is a very important aspect of the character.
Regardless, we see as Bran is given the ability to see the past, and he/we watch as a very young Ned practices sword fighting with a young Benjen until (WOAH) a young Lyanna Goddamn Stark arrives on horseback. Bran is in awe of the Winterfell that lays before his eyes, and the scene seems to gravitate a whole lot on Lyanna, the kind, strong willed sister of his father, Ned, who, if you’ve read the books (again, sorry) you know matters so much more than the show has been willing to show. Bran is interrupted and is pissed, I would have been too. I also noticed that they’ve changed the actress/look for the child of the forest, bummer. I don’t care about what happened after.
The next scene is at the wall, it seemed to be a surprisingly short scene considering how much the show runners care about the wall and that whole manly men fighting men type of stuff I’ve stopped caring about. Allistair is tired of Davos’s bullshit and walks to break through, said something about wanting to put Ghost on the other side of the wall where he belongs, I actually laughed (as if ANYONE would be able to put Ghost anyone, he’s a god damn Direwolf, not a pet turtle you guys), the Wildlings save the day by breaking through the wall through the help of a giant (how many are there left now?), there isn’t really a fight, I’m a bit disappointed, but the scene ends and I was happy again.
The show decided to stay in King’s Landing much longer than I would have expected, but that turned out to be a good thing. They open up with a scene I ended up really (REALLY) enjoying where a man is talking to a large group of men about Cersei’s walk of shame and how she was totally looking at him and wanting his dick real bad, his buddies laugh, the waitresses are disgusting, I grimaced too. After his speech about how his dick is huge and Jaime’s is probably tiny, the man goes for a piss and gets his head smashed in by none other than Cersei’s monster! A revived, zombie-ish Gregor Clegane aka The Mountain.
I’m not sure what they are planning on doing with him, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t down with the whole Cersei’s monster protecting her honor. King’s landing has a lot of characters at the moment, Tommen, Cersei, Jaime, Margery, etc, and I’m glad at the way they seem to be handing it so far. Tommen’s conversation with Jaime about regretting not protecting his mother nor his wife, his guilt, Jaime’s support, this felt season 1 to me and it was nice. The show continues to show us just how much power the High Sparow has over the city, how much they control, even Jaime almost shits himself over his inability to stab himself out of the problem. Tommen feels bad, him and Cersei hug one another.
Mereen open ups with yet another instance of Tyrion yet again feeling the need to remain us all that Varys and Grey Worm had their penises cut off, nobody is amused, neither am I. To be honest, this is getting really annoying. We learn that Astapor and Yunkai have been taken back and slavery is back on the market and that Viserion and Rhaegal aren’t eating, Tyrion thinks it’s a brilliant idea for him to go and try to befriend him. What could go wrong? Actually not much. I thought that this scene would annoy me and revolve around Tyrion being awesome for the sake of looking awesome, but instead we are given a great scene in the likes of season 1 where Tyrion reminisces on his childhood and his love for dragons, his sadness when he was told that they were all dead, as he touches them with a trembling hand. He frees them, runs back to Varys and shits his pants a bit, I’m amused. Varys isn’t.
Arya is given once again a short ass scene where she’s beaten up. Jaqen H’ghar shows up, Arya still keeps her whole “I’m not one” thing and is rewarded by what seems to be a rescue. I feel like I should care, I’m not sure if I do.
Winterfell continues to be depressing as fuck, and I wonder how much of this is the books and how much of it is the showrunners. Ramsay continues to be a sadistic asshole but I’m ok with it because Iwan Rheon is a fucking babe. Ramsay decides to murder his father when they learn that Walda has given birth to a baby boy, who he then also murders by having her eaten by his hounds. Yes, the baby too, Ramsay doesn’t give a shit. It was a rough scene, but I was glad that they chose not to show Walda as she gets torn into pieces.
My girl Sansa finally gets a scene. Brienne briefly recounts her meeting with Arya and tells Sansa that although alive (and not dress like a lady, which makes Sansa smile.) Arya is now gone again and no one knows where she is. For a moment, Brienne asks Sansa what happened in Winterfell, Sansa’s silence made my heart jump, the pain on her face is clear. She replies that she should have gone with Brienne when she first saw her, Brienne gently replies that it was a complicated choice, I appreciated that moment.
Sansa moves to Theon, who tells her that he is going back home, Sansa is heartbroken as she hugs Theon, I’m not sure when it was that I forgave Theon, but I’m sad as he proclaims that he should never be forgiven. This moment, too, I appreciated.
The Iron Islands should be interesting, but they weren’t, and that’s a complete waste. Yara and Balon argue about what should be done, and I zone out a bit because I just don’t care and I’m not made to feel like I should. Balon doesn’t give a shit about Theon, Yara does, we’ve heard it all before. If the guy didn’t care when his son’s penis was sent to him in a box, he isn’t going to care now, girl. Balon is murdered by some guy, it took me a second to realize it was his brother and another to try and figure out which one of them it was supposed to be. Euron what’s his face? Yara thinks that now that she is in power she’ll avenge both her father and her brother, but Patriarchy, girl.
The episode, once again, ends at the wall. Davos goes to see Melisandre in her room, who has been staring at the fire with the prettiest of all sad faces I have ever seen, I almost hope she continues to be sad. He asks her if she can revive Jon, she replies that she’s seen someone been resurrected before but doesn’t know if she can. She’s willing to try though. This, annoys me greatly. I’ve seen a lot of people raise that issue as well. Why would Davos care so much about Jon, who he still doesn’t really know, to the point that he would ask Melisandre to resurrect him? Although I enjoyed Davos’s speech about not being a devout man but believing in Melisandre’s abilities (am I shipping them? Yeah, I kind of do), this just feels like one of cheapest plot devices in the show so far. Wouldn’t she have thought of that herself? Why did she need Davos to propose the idea? This is silly. We all knew that Jon would come back because the showrunners have made him the main character of a story he originally is NOT the main character of, and in Game of Thrones, unlike A Song of Ice and Fire, not everyone dies, actually. The ritual is a nice scene, not too cheesy. She attempts to bring back Jon but it doesn’t seem to work. Melisandre’s best ever sad face looks at Jon and then at Davos, filled with sadness as she believes that she isn’t strong enough, that he god has left her.
Everyone leaves the room, we watch Ghost go from being asleep to being very happily awake, and Jon awakens. It was a good scene, but I just don’t care. Jon doesn’t matter to me, I hope Melisandre keeps looking sad.
All in all, I do believe that this was a better episode than the previous one. The scenes didn’t drag on as much, there were less characters to switch to and Bran is back on the menu.
8/10 – Still no rape, phew.